I was 31 years old and my life was gliding along at a nice pace; married to a wonderful woman with 2 great children, an overdraft and a mortgage. Then a curve ball landed in my lap. MS took up residence. It snuck in without notice or fanfare. It lodged itself inside my body in 1988 and has refused to leave. In the beginning it took short holidays but kept returning to torment me and now it takes shorter and infrequent holidays.
It is difficult to accurately describe the limitations imposed by MS. I know that I will never run a marathon now but I would probably never have run one anyway. There are plenty of things that I cannot do now that I would never have attempted.
The changes I had to make crept into my life slowly. One of the earlier ones being the need to occasionally use a cane to aid my stability while out and about. Call it vanity or pride but I wouldn’t use a cane in public. For years I carried a golf umbrella and used it as a cane when it was needed for balance but never as an umbrella even when raining! Coffee became a no-no as did ‘heavy’ work. I strove hard to keep a number of businesses going but I had to make decisions and reduce my workload. However, between 1999 and 2003 I achieved 2 law degrees from UCC while continuing my work as an auctioneer. By that time, I was finding myself more and more confined to the office. I was slowly turning into a desk-jockey and the strange thing about it was that I didn’t really mind. Fatigue was becoming a greater feature and other MS symptoms also conspired against me. The need for frequent loo breaks was an embarrassing necessity. Standing to greet people and shaking hands was a problem because of my compromised balance. My friends and colleagues were understanding and made allowances but some customers and clients were less accommodating. Would life have been different without MS?? Definitely!
Speed of movement and MS are irreconcilable; I remember being on holidays in Mojacar, Spain and decided to go for a ‘Banana Boat’ ride. I started to walk across the sand but by the time I decided it was too far I couldn’t go forward or backward and the net result was that the soles of both my feet were blistered and we had to rely on the kindness of another holiday maker to help me back to our hotel. Swimming was another pleasure lost to me. I was never good at gardening but I loved being outside in the fine weather doing garden stuff as opposed to just sitting around and watching others do the work. That became too much for me over the past few years and another pleasure was lost. We moved house recently and the low maintenance garden will get me back outdoors soon.
MS places limits on our lives. This is a fact of life that we must accept but we must not give up without a fight. Know and respect your limits and boundaries but don’t be afraid to push them. If you push too hard your body will let you know. Don’t allow yourself to be sucked down the slippery slope of despondency and inability. Respect MS but don’t give it total control over your life.
MS changed my outlook on life...
Over the years I have become more tolerant of other peoples perceived shortcomings because of my own. I have become less critical. I realise that not all illnesses are visible and invisible illnesses can be more disabling than visible ones! Most people make allowances for disabilities they can see but invisible illnesses are more difficult to cater for.
Do you have a different outlook on life?
Declan
Further reading
Visit able2access.wordpress.com blogs about accessibility for the mobility impaired
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