This isn’t a diatribe on the evils of modern technology, nor am I a tin foil hat-wearing technophobe. In fact, one of the reasons I decided to live without a mobile phone (at first, just for a while) was because my last job before my diagnosis had me traveling and on the phone for over 50 hours per week (I know this because I had a 3000-minute per month plan – this was over two decades ago when you paid for usage that way, and my employer was always paying fees for my overages). Instead, this is about the difference between our choices to step away from connectivity and those thrust upon us by our disease (a bit), and mostly by our society.
Limited Energy and Finding Balance
Like many with MS, I have limited energy (both physical and cognitive) to spend in my days. I call this my energy chequebook. Some use Christine Miserandino’s Spoon Theory to manage their fatigue, but the concept of an ever-changing balance in my energy bank works best for me. We all find our own way with MS.
A Break Became a Break-Up
What began as a break from my mobile phone became a break-up with it.
As we settled into our quieter life in Corca Dhuibhne, my wife, Caryn, and I decided that she would get a mobile phone, and we’d get a phone for the house and internet access via a landline. It was much more important for Caryn to have a mobile as she began searching for employment in her field, and I just needed the internet to work with my publishers on various MS writing projects and books. I was looking forward to enjoying the Back West life for a little while and recovering from the stressful year that led to our 7,200km relocation.
Avoiding the Smart Devices Trap
It’s relevant to mention that I never had a smartphone. I avoided the lure of the Blackberry when it was all the rage in my company, and by the time I would have needed or wanted that level of technology, MS had already taken me out of the workforce. I never got used to having all the smart devices offer at my fingertips, so I don’t miss it.
The Power of Choice
I could write about how I get by without mobile connectivity, but the point here is less about the how and more about the fact that it was my choice.
MS took away my ability to do the work I loved (work I excelled at and was well-paid for). The disease (or really, others’ reactions to it) caused disconnection from my colleagues, and all that went with it. My income plummeted, my personal relationships spun out of control, and I was left in the silence of my apartment (my world, really), wondering if any of it really mattered.
And that was the halftime throw-in.
The Choice to Reconnect
My former world was not going to automatically reconnect to me. I had to plug back into the places and people that gave me energy and disconnect from things that drained me. While these disconnections might sound like the same thing MS did by unhooking me from aspects of my life, the key difference is that I was making the decision as to where to unplug, not the disease.
I often say, “Control is an illusion, and we only have control over our reactions and responses to things.” This was a case where I took control of my response by assessing what mattered and making sure those connections were strengthened, while letting others fray or, better yet, cutting ties altogether.
Cutting Ties to Move Forward
It might sound harsh, it might even sound mad. But, as a former sailor and lover of nautical fiction, it felt like cutting the sail ropes to a broken mast that had once propelled me through life, but now dragged my progress and threatened the prospects for a successful voyage through life with MS.
Choosing What You Unplug From
I wouldn’t prescribe ditching mobile phones or anything that makes life easier with this disease. What I would suggest is that we are all connected and disconnected from aspects of our new life with a disease in tow in ways that are beyond our control. My point is that I’ve found benefit in examining aspects of my life I once took for granted and deciding whether they still serve me in a beneficial way.
The time and energy I don’t spend on one thing can be used on other aspects of life that give back with dividends. In my case, one of those time- and energy-sucking elements was my mobile phone, and I’ve not only learned to survive but to thrive without it. The key is that it was my choice…
What Might You Live Without?
What might be an energy drain in your life that you could consider living without (even if only for a while)?
Wishing you and your family the best of health.
Cheers,
Trevis
My new book, Living Well with Multiple Sclerosis, is now available. Follow me on the Life With MS Facebook page and subscribe to Life With Multiple Sclerosis.
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