The day of my test has arrived. This time, I have stuck with the literature the drug manufacturer gave me. I have resisted Googling Macular Oedema in case I see too much information on a condition I don’t know I have yet. My bag of worries is full enough as it is. The booklet is just about right- informative but not overwhelming. The important information section tells me that there is a 4 in 1000 chance I am affected. So, in a room of 250 people, one poor sod will have it.
I read in the paper the other day that scientists say that “Most causes of cancer are the result of sheer bad luck rather than unhealthy lifestyles, diet or even inherited genes”. Though poor lifestyle can add to the “bad luck” factor, it still boils down to chance- a roll of the dice. How unfair is that?
I really like the drug I am on at the moment. I would say that the side-effects are minimal compared to the other drug I tried. On old drug, I spent three years feeling wretched once a week for the entire day. It was depressing to know in advance that I was going to make myself feel so bad to keep my MS at bay. New drug and me have a much more functional relationship. We are out of the honeymoon stage now and I am daring to think that this one is a keeper. I really hope that my eyes don’t throw a spanner in the works today.
Having MS makes me not take my body for granted. I didn’t give my vital organs a second thought when they were all performing as expected. Now, I investigate ways to keep my brain and body as healthy as possible for as long as I can. Some of it is so obvious; it reminds me of the Dumb Ways To Die video my kids love. Apart from not poking a stick at a grizzly bear or selling both kidneys on the internet, I need to be aware of how external factors like stress, diet and exercise can make my MS symptoms worse. I’m not saying that I can avoid bad luck- nobody can, but I can decrease the chances.
The appointment is over now. A kind lady with a gorgeous Scottish accent asked me to look at lights in a machine. She took two pictures of my left and right eye. The pictures will be reviewed and I will be informed if they find anything. She told me that I will have to come off my MS drug if I do. As tests go, it was non invasive and punctual but I still get that sinking feeling when I enter the building and a huge release when I leave.
“Sorry Macular Oedema! Bag of worries is currently bursting at the seams. You will have to go to the back of my thoughts- maybe emerging when I see a letter from the hospital or can’t sleep. I am definitely not Googling you, although I will ask my friend who is on the same drug about you.” Hopefully, luck will be on my side and I am clear. Not sure what I will do if I’m not.
How do you manage when you are waiting on test results for your MS? Any tips would be appreciated!
Add new comment