We have all had those conversations with ourselves - 'what would my last thoughts be if I was on a sinking ship?’ As a non-believer, I've wondered if I would I hedge my bets and start to pray to a (wo)man above. The closest I've come to that sinking ship 'moment' was in the days and weeks around my unexpected diagnosis with MS. In those long days, I was overwhelmed with good wishes, cards and gifts from family and friends. I was given religious relics, mass cards and messages saying that I was in people's prayers. I appreciated each and everyone of these gestures, but I confess, it did nothing to draw me back to the teachings of my Roman Catholic upbringing. Rather, it reinforced my lack of faith. Would I say that I am a full blown atheist? Probably. This can be tricky living in Christian Ireland, when education, births, deaths, marriages and everything in between is immersed in religious ceremony. But I am happy enough to go along with these and actively participate at times. Am I a hypocrite? Probably.